This Thing Called Love (A Mirror Lake Novel) Read online

  Stupid, stupid. Damned old memories from a million years ago, stirred up from where they should have stayed, dust-covered and undisturbed. She’d caught him off guard, that was all. Lack of sex would do that to a man and he would take steps to rectify that immediately.

  He’d known she was coming back to get the baby but he never expected to run into her like this, in Gertie’s, with Annabelle all worked up and Olivia at her wit’s end trying to console her.

  He’d hung back as long as he could, but he was never good at doing nothing. It was in his nature to jump in and help. Despite knowing he shouldn’t.

  Because Annabelle belonged here, in Mirror Lake, with her family. Her whole family. Not in New York City with a single career woman who dragged herself exhausted into her apartment after a twelve-hour workday with barely enough energy to pull a take-out menu off her refrigerator door and call for dinner.

  So Brad would help, but it wouldn’t be for Olivia’s sake. No siree. “Hey, Annie,” he cooed, patting the baby on the back. “Easy there, honey.” If he’d thought the familiarity of his voice would soothe her, he was wrong. She was beyond consolation. His legendary finesse with women clearly didn’t work on his baby niece.

  “Here you go.” He reached over with more towels, urging Olivia to place them between Annabelle’s butt and her hand.

  Olivia glanced up and nodded, all jesting tossed aside with the baby’s heightened cries. A quick skim of a look, but it pricked his heart with a mixture of sadness and vulnerability that made him feel something he absolutely did not want to feel. Once upon a time he would have turned somersaults to urge some laughter back into those soulful brown eyes.

  But not now.

  She’d left him once, and once was enough, thank you very much. Okay, so maybe he’d encouraged her to go but he’d had no choice. A full scholarship to NYU had been her ticket to sail, whereas he’d stayed behind, anchored down with the hefty task of raising three feisty younger brothers and a sister.

  Everything she’d experienced—international friends, foods, theater shows and art, different ways of thinking and dressing and acting—seemed foreign to him. Served to magnify their differences and his insecurities, and in the end he couldn’t handle it. He’d felt unworthy and she’d just . . . changed.

  The Olivia in front of him was not the same person he once knew. She looked so sophisticated, in her fancy blouse and high heels. She’d been a pretty girl but now she was a stunning woman, and everything about her spelled success. A city girl through and through, far removed from their tiny tourist town.

  “I can take her,” he offered.

  “No!” she said adamantly. “I-I’m almost at checkout.”

  Figured she would refuse his help. That much hadn’t changed.

  Olivia always was determined to do everything on her own. From fiercely studying for college placement tests to raising the most money ever for the children’s cancer drive she’d organized senior year.

  She’d rarely been back home since she got that high-up job somewhere in the publishing industry. Except for briefly at the funeral, he hadn’t seen her since the day Trish married his younger brother.

  Yet they’d picked her, not him, to mother their child. And he knew why, too. Because he sucked at child rearing. At least he’d been fifteen, not a baby, when he’d lost his parents. He’d basically raised all four of his siblings through the nightmare of their teen years by himself, and he’d made mistakes. Did his best holding down three jobs and taking college classes at night, but things were far from perfect.

  All the more reason for him to fight tooth and nail for his dead brother’s child. And he would fight for this helpless baby to get the best life, the life she deserved, with a proper family who loved her more than life itself. Two loving people who would move heaven and earth for her happiness and security.

  And he had just the right two people in mind. His brother Tom and his wife Alex already had three little kids and enough love between them to share with at least one more. They’d already kept Annabelle for the past week. All he had to do was convince them that keeping her permanently was the best decision for everyone.

  “Got a pacifier?” he asked.

  “In the car.”

  “Suppose the bottle’s there, too.”

  Could nodding be sexy? Because it was when she did it.

  The cashier leaned over the black conveyer belt. “You two lovebirds are next!”

  Brad winced. Lord, that was so long ago. Couldn’t anyone in this town forget anything? “Can it, Gertie,” Brad scolded the gray-haired woman behind the register. “Can’t you see we need a little help here?”

  “Just hand over a credit card, Bradley, and you can give ’em all the help in the world on your own time.” Gertie cracked her gum and leaned her ample floral-shirt-covered bosom farther over the belt. “Hi, Olivia. Long time no see, sugar.”

  “Hey, Gertie,” Olivia managed weakly.

  “C’mon, lady, let’s get the line moving,” someone heckled. Olivia’s face flamed. She spun around to address a stocky man at the back of the line in a plaid shirt, worn jeans, and work boots. “I thought that in Mirror Lake, people were actually polite to one another.” Brad bit back a smile. She still possessed her same spunk, and it was more appealing than ever.

  “That applies to people who don’t let their babies scream for twenty minutes, lady. You’re a public menace.”

  Brad frowned and turned around. “Mike, is that you? Surely you wouldn’t be giving Annabelle’s aunt trouble.”

  “Oh, hey, Brad.” The man’s tone suddenly turned contrite. “You know this woman?”

  Brad nodded. “My niece’s aunt. Mind your manners.”

  Brad looked at Olivia. Big mistake. For a second an expression that might have been gratefulness passed over her features, softening them and making her even more gorgeous. He hadn’t realized he was staring until she met his gaze and blushed, just as aware of the snap of electricity between them as he was.

  Well, he’d had to say something. No one should talk to a woman like that. He would’ve stood up for anyone.

  “That Kevin’s kid?” Mike asked. “I’m sorry, man. I had no idea. Can I help?”

  Brad winced at the mention of his deceased brother’s name, but forced himself to focus on Olivia and Annabelle. He took hold of Olivia’s arm. Just a light touch, at the crook of her elbow. Her skin was petal soft and for the first time he noticed she smelled like those tiny white flowers his grandma grew on the shady side of the white clapboard house where he’d grown up. He lowered his voice, spoke only to her. “Why don’t you take the baby out to the car while I get the groceries?”

  “Just let me give you my credit ca—” She looked frantically in the cart, checked both her shoulders for a strap.

  “Oh no. My purse—”

  “Where did you last have it?” Brad asked.

  “I moved it after she woke up . . . veggie aisle. Near the grapes. It’s probably gone by now—”

  “I’ll get her purse,” Mike said.

  “Thanks, buddy.” Brad cracked a half grin and turned to Olivia. “He’s not so bad once you get on his good side.”

  Brad unloaded the groceries and handed Gertie a credit card, which she took with a subdued nod. “Want me to make an announcement about the purse?” she asked.

  “Maybe just send Sam over to watch the doors in case anyone tries to leave with it. Mind if I grab another thing or two real quick?”

  She expelled a heavy sigh. “You are pushing me today, young man.”

  “I’ll be right back.” Before Olivia could protest that he’d paid for her groceries, he turned and sprinted down an aisle. He could hear Annabelle’s cries behind him, loud and clear and strong.

  He returned a moment later, gesturing to Gertie and holding up three more items that she scanned quickly.

&nb
sp; After he signed the receipt, Brad found Olivia near the exit and steered her to two plastic chairs near the store’s front office. He quickly ripped the cardboard off a baby bottle. Next he took a bottle of water, uncapped it, and rinsed off the bottle and nipple, pouring the excess into a geranium plant nearby. Then he popped a formula can open and poured it into the bottle. Ten seconds later, the bottle was in Annabelle’s mouth.

  And quiet was restored.

  Olivia’s face flooded with relief. Curlicues of hair sprung from her bun to frame her face. Her clothes were wrinkled, and he couldn’t help but notice her blouse had come a little more open on top than usual, allowing him a glimpse of a sweet curve of cleavage and something pretty and lacy underneath.

  He mentally smacked himself. Here he was thinking of sex when all Olivia’s focus was on Annabelle, who sucked urgently, caring only about satisfying her hunger.

  Odd, but at that moment, Olivia looked more beautiful than he’d ever remembered. Maybe it was all the sadness of these past few weeks that made him so sentimental. Or needy. Because he suddenly wanted to be eighteen again, feeling that frantic desperation that had them making love in canoes and under trees and once on a blanket on a dewy hillside under a full moon overlooking the lake. For a flash, he was back in the past, when things were simple and he was so damn in love with her.

  Olivia rubbed her forehead against her shoulder to push the hair from her face. She exhaled a big breath and smiled. “Thank you.”

  That high-wattage smile was sincere and honest and for some strange reason, it punched Brad right in the gut.

  But he was not going to let her get to him. Annabelle was his niece and he was not about to allow Big City Girl to flounce into town and take her away from all the family she had. To a metropolitan life full of nannies and an absent mother who cared more about her career than anything else.

  Mike ran up the aisle carrying Olivia’s shoulder bag. “Purse found in aisle two.”

  Olivia accepted it, exhaling a pent-up breath. “Oh, thanks.”

  “Hey, it’s all right. And I’m sorry I harassed you earlier. Any friend of Brad’s is a friend of mine.” He extended a hand, then recoiled and put it in his pocket. “I’d shake your hand, but . . .”

  “Not today, I understand.” Olivia’s mouth tilted up in not quite a smile.

  As he left the store, Olivia asked, “Who is that guy, anyway?”

  “Mike restores old homes. He’s working on a bunch of the old Victorians on the square.” Her cool-headed gaze rose to meet his, and she studied him thoroughly for the first time. Damn those wide brown eyes, expressive and honest and wary. For a second he felt that dangerous spark she’d always incited in him, clear through to his toes. It did something crazy to him, making him blurt, “Can I drive you home?”

  Brad winced. Why had he just asked that? Be helpful, but keep your distance, a stern voice in his head warned. Why couldn’t he do that, even after all these years and all that muddied-up water under their bridge?

  “Do you mind?” That was unexpected. She was actually accepting help? Of course he minded. This was not good. That same powerful force field of attraction drew him to her like a magnet, threatening to take his composure and shatter it like a baseball through glass.

  Action. He needed action to take his mind off this crazy spell she cast on him. So he jumped up, grabbed the cart of groceries. Red police car sirens flashed inside his head. Olivia wasn’t just an old girlfriend, she’d become family the moment her sister had married his brother. She was someone he would have to interact with on some level for the rest of his life because of their connection to Annabelle.

  Throwing sex into that mix was like dating your boss. Never a good idea.

  Grateful for some distance to clear his head, Brad pushed the cart with the groceries outside while Olivia carried Annabelle. He opened Olivia’s rental car door with her key while she snapped Annabelle’s car seat onto its base. Olivia slid in beside Annabelle, not daring to take the bottle out of her mouth.

  He got in and drove. The familiar landmarks of their small town passed by—the tall steeple of the Congregational church, the old theater, the bed and breakfast with its wrap-around porch and baskets of hanging ferns. The hardware store Olivia’s father owned. Pie in the Sky, the old diner with its neon sign that had been a favorite hangout in high school.

  The tiny downtown was quaint as a postcard, but to Brad it was just home, a place he’d lived every day of his life. Bound in with his blood and bones, and therefore not usually contemplated. Yet he couldn’t help wondering what memories it stirred for her.

  That big pine tree on the square by the gazebo where he’d first kissed her. The canoe they’d often used to paddle out onto the lake from his grandmother’s house on balmy summer nights. Sitting on the porch swing under his grandma’s watchful eye.

  And that red brick Victorian on the corner with the big side yard and that turret, where they’d snuck in one fine spring evening.

  Back then, he hadn’t been out to conquer one woman after the next. He’d dreamt of forever.

  Fool boy that he was. What did he know?

  Too late, Rushford. Ten years too late. Let it go. Bygones and all that.

  Brad broke out of reminiscing and looked in the rearview mirror, to find Olivia staring at him. She quickly looked away. “Town look the same to you?” He kept his tone casual.

  Olivia nodded. “This part of it, anyway.”

  “Hasn’t changed much on the outside, but on the inside it has.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, it’s grown up. Become more tourist-conscious. The marina’s gotten built up the last couple of years and the downtown’s opened up more specialty stores and restaurants for visitors who want to stroll and shop.”

  “I’m glad to hear it’s prospering.”

  He had a sudden urge to point out his own restaurant on the marina, nearly done being renovated. His baby, his pride and joy.

  Too personal. He kept the conversation light until he drove the mile and a half to an old neighborhood of century-old homes and pulled up to a tiny craftsman-style house with a low-gabled roof and fat columns holding up a covered front porch.

  “Thanks for the ride,” Olivia said.

  Brad stepped out and opened the back door. Olivia unhooked the baby’s seat and Brad lifted it out. Annabelle sat in a relaxed slump, completely passed out from exhaustion.

  Together they crunched up the gravel driveway to the front door.

  He paused while she rummaged inside her bag for the key. Her hand shook as she placed it in the lock and turned the knob.

  She glanced up at him briefly as the door opened. Uncertainty and doubt flashed over her face before she could neutralize her expression. He knew what she was thinking, felt her thinking it. She was on her own, in her sister’s old house, being a parent for the first time. All on a week’s notice.

  Suddenly he felt as lost as she did. She of all people understood the shock of losing someone you loved. That fact had changed both their lives and would bind them forever, regardless of the anger he felt over her getting the baby.

  “Well, thanks so much for helping me.” Olivia steeled her shoulders, snapped her professional mask carefully into place. “Annabelle and I . . . really appreciate it. I’ll make certain to reimburse you for the groceries.”

  Brad waved his hand in dismissal. “It’s the least I can do. Do you need anything?” Dammit, there he went again. Didn’t he even have the sense not to stand too close to the flame in case it burned him again?

  “Just a much-needed bath—both of us.” She gestured toward her clothes.

  Yeah. The heat flared again, ready to singe at any moment. Images flashed through his head that had no business there. Involving her gorgeous curves soaking in a tub full of bubbles.

  Brad stepped back, grasping frantical
ly for rational thought. “What’s your plan with Annabelle?” he blurted, mostly to douse the hormones flying rampantly between them.

  Olivia curved a brow in surprise but answered calmly. “I’ve got two weeks off. It was all my boss could spare. I’m nearing a deadline with a big author and he can’t be kept waiting much longer.”

  “I see. Then you’re taking her back to the City?”

  She nodded. “That would be the most reasonable plan.”

  “But is it the best plan for her?”

  Remorse pricked him as he watched delicate lines appear between her eyes. He didn’t want to be an ass but there was no pretending he felt peachy about this.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, you’re single, aren’t you?”

  “Lots of people are.”

  “And you work a lot, right?”

  Olivia shook her head. “I’m not getting into this with you. Thanks for the ride, Brad.” She walked through the doorway but he stepped up and prevented her from shutting the door.

  “All I’m saying is, Annabelle’s whole family is here in Mirror Lake. If you take her away, you take her away from all of us. Is that really what you want?”

  She set the carrier down and poked a manicured finger into his chest. “If your idea of raising a child is for a mom to abandon her business suits for a red-checkered apron and bake cherry pies all day long, you are living on Sexist Idiot Planet Number Nine. There are all kinds of mothers and, from what I’ve seen, you’re no expert.”

  “I am an expert, sweetness.” The hairs on his neck bristled. Was she criticizing the job he’d done with his siblings? Every minute of raising them had been worry and torture, something he never wanted to tackle again. “I know it takes a lot of sacrifice and delaying gratification. Something you might not know with your big city life.”

  “You know nothing about me or my ‘big city life.’” She handed him her keys and addressed him over her shoulder. “You can take my car home. I’ll get it back later.”